


The Person I Want to See

by quartzguts



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Identity Issues, M/M, Nostalgia, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 23:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19779040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzguts/pseuds/quartzguts
Summary: Demyx isn't who Xigbar wants him to be.





	The Person I Want to See

**Author's Note:**

> short xigdem/momxu fic i wrote while taking a break from my other project, ft the "demyx is the MoM's nobody" theory

\---

Xigbar’s head feels like it’s about to explode. He’s been working nonstop for days. The Organization is at a critical point, and everyone has to pull their own weight for it to work. For the second member, that means being out on missions for hours on end, coming back to the Castle, and getting sent out on another mission almost immediately. He hasn’t slept hardly at all in the past few days, hasn’t bathed in a while, and feels all around tired and gross.

Seeing Demyx relaxing on the couch in the Gray Area doesn’t help.

“Have you done anything useful lately, you lazy ass?” he snaps as he falls down onto the couch opposite Demyx.

He has the gall to look surprised, the bastard. His sitar disappears in a sparkle of bluish light. “Hey, you don’t look good. You okay?”

“No,” Xigbar grumbles. Demyx practically jumps the table and peels the glove off of his right hand, raising it to feel Xigbar’s forehead. Xigbar wants to snap that he isn’t sick, just exhausted, but the sensation of cool skin against his own has him feeling sleepy.

Demyx slides his hand down his face to cup his cheek. “You need a break,” he says.

“No shit.” Xigbar rolls over so his face is buried in the couch cushion. After a few moments, he hears Demyx shift around on the floor, then stand up and walk away. Xigbar listens to his footsteps as they fade off into the distance and falls half asleep.

He dreams a little bit, but they’re the weird dreams you have when you’re still slightly awake. The images float around behind his eyelids, shifting between ancient battlefields and hazy memories of things that were once important to him. He keeps lying there, even through the couch is anything but comfortable and he starts to hurt where his limbs are pressed into it. He feels like if he just stays there a little longer he’ll fall asleep completely, and then he might be able to see the Master again.

Xigbar only dreams of him when he passes out completely, so exhausted that he sleeps for hours past what would be considered normal. He knows his memory isn’t perfect, since he’s long forgotten small details like what Daybreak Town looked like and what the Forteller’s names were, so he has no way of knowing if the way he remembers the Master’s face or voice or mannerisms is accurate or not. It doesn’t matter, in the end. Xigbar is tired of everything, just moving along aimlessly until Xehanort’s stupid war comes to an end and he can see him again.

For now all he has left is the Master’s nobody. And as much as Xigbar wishes he was, Demyx isn’t the Master and they both know it.

He’s about to fully pass out when a finger taps his cheek. He groans and shifts so his face is completely pressed against the couch, but then the hand moves to his hair and starts petting it. Xigbar snarls and snaps up, ready to kill whoever’s stupid enough to bother him.

Demyx grins at him. “I just got permission from Saïx to take your missions for the rest of the week.”

Xigbar looks at him dumbly. “What.”

“I asked Saïx if I could take your missions so you could rest! It took a lot to convince him I was competent enough to do it, you know. You owe me.” Demyx gives his shoulder a playful shove. “Come on, you shouldn’t sleep here. I’ll help you get to your room.”

Xigbar keeps staring. “But,” he starts, then pauses when he realizes how stupid what he wants to say will sound. He clears his throat, hoping he’ll be able to come up with something better in the next few seconds. No cigar. “Workin’ myself like this. It’s the only way I can dream of… of him. You know.”

Demyx smiles a little, like he expected that response, and leans in to kiss Xigbar’s cheek. “I know. Let’s go to your room, okay?”

Xigbar sighs and forces himself up. He stumbles once his feet are on the ground, and Demyx takes his arm to steady him. They make their way through the hallway, past the first few bedrooms. Each of them has a little plaque on the door displaying the owner’s number. The thirteenth room is empty, and will remain that way until they manage to snag a keyblade wielder to fill it. With the way Xemnas has been talking, it won’t be long.

They get to room IX when Xigbar stops walking. Demyx looks at him questioningly, trying to get him to keep moving with a tug on his arm.

He’s never slept in Demyx’s room before. Luxu used to sleep in the Master’s room all the time, though.

Xigbar looks at Demyx, hoping he’ll implicitly understand the things he wants to say. Demyx doesn’t say anything as he moves to unlock his bedroom door.

They stumble inside. Demyx deposits Xigbar on his bed, and he sprawls out over it. It’s the same standard issue mattress and sheets as the one in his own room, but this one seems more comfortable somehow.

“I’ll be back after I’m done for today,” Demyx says. Xigbar nods, not really listening. He’s already trying to catch sight of that dream again, trying to grab onto that fragment of the Master that still exists in his memory.

Demyx stops at the door, where he turns off the automatic light. His silhouette, just a black cloak against the light of hallway, catches Xigbar’s eye. He can’t look away.

Demyx looks back at him and says, “I’m right here, Luxu. You don’t need to go looking for me. I won’t leave you again.”

Xigbar’s brain chooses this exact moment to completely pass out.

For hours, until he wakes up, he dreams of the Master - except this time, it’s Demyx’s face he pictures, and Demyx’s voice he hears. By the time he wakes up, alone in the darkness, he doesn't feel as lonely as he usually does.

\---


End file.
